What to do when sudden nerves take over?

All was needed was a casual suggestion from a friend in the middle of this week to go on a hack on Saturday, and potentially canter a bit too. Ever since, I was a nervous wreck just thinking about the hack. I had said yes, of course, because I really wanted to take R out. I enjoy hacking out at weekends when there's more time, quieter roads and our busy riding school yard is full of riders of all ages attending their weekly dose of horsiness, so it's good to get out of their way. 

But because of R's antics on the hack a couple of weeks ago, I have again built up massive nerves about casual cantering on a hack. I fear that I am not able to control her and she'll start bucking again. I don't want to fall off on a hack, as it could be really painful and I am afraid of losing Rainbow, in case she gallops off as a result. 

Annika, one of our trainers, who also rides R once a week, took R on a hack last week and cantered her. They went on their own and apparently she was as good as gold. So that shows me that R is a good hack. Last time when we cantered, she fizzed over as we were going second. Perhaps, if R is on her own or leading she will canter nicely – but how do I pick up the courage to test this theory?! My friend was happy to go second but I didn't want to canter yesterday at all. But, despite almost shaking with the thought of the hack (I really had worked myself up about it), I wanted to go, so off we went. 

The whole hack Rainbow behaved impeccably. And even though we didn't canter, we trotted and I did a few transitions independently of our friend and her horse, just to test that R was listening to me. I did a few half-halts too adjusting the speed of walking and trotting, as well as asked her to halt when our friend and her horse were walking on. Of course R listened to me and did everything I asked her to. I think, had I had the courage to canter, I am 80% sure she would have been fine if we'd gone ahead. 

Riding is a mind sport as well as a physical one. It's proven that horses are spookier if their riders are nervous. I have always been honest with myself and others when I feel nervous about riding – it seems to fluctuate from 'no worries' to 'shaking like a leaf' with no apparent reason... Expect the only thing I can identify affecting it – and I don't wish to be too open here – but my monthly cycle...! I am much more agitated and nervous when I am due than afterwards. Bizarre. Not sure if it helps, but I guess it at least is being honest and acknowledging those feelings... Perhaps by acknowledging those feelings, I can also address them the best I can. 


Yesterday's hack was lovely – despite the arctic conditions and mild snow fall, it's been SO cold here this week! – I was wearing 5 layers of clothing on my top half, and two on the bottom half. Just about right, but after about an hour and a half, when it was time to dismount, I had to shake my legs a bit before landing as I think I was frozen in the classic position aka 'John Wayne'. 


I felt like a real muppet for having been so nervous about it all. But let's hope this has again shown my brain not to be so silly and just get on with it. 

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Apologies for the lack of photos lately, but I also think there are only so many pictures of Rainbow eating hay by her stable the readers of this blog would want to see...! I will try to ask someone to take some pics and video of me riding her sometime soon... Maybe on one of our dressage lessons :)

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Our vet visited us on Friday to give Rainbow her booster vaccination since last summer. I also took the chance to show her R's feet as we've been fighting mud fever in various degrees since December. She said that the mud fever cases she's seen are usually red raw, crusty clusters and scabs full of puss – and apparently what she can see of Rainbow the severity of our mud fever isn't even on the scale, as it's just a little irritated. So in brief she said to keep doing what I am doing and it will clear eventually. There is a lot of information on mud fever on the web and I urge everyone to talk to their own vet, but this is how I've managed R's mud fever - and managed to clear it (except when I let her out in the field for a couple of days and she soaks her feet, which slightly brings it back if not treated straight away):

- If muddy and wet, do not brush or wash. I put R in her dry and clean stable with plenty of straw bedding.
- Next morning, when the she's dry, I brush off the mud with a soft brush and apply zinc cream (nappy cream) under her fetlocks and where ever any mud fever is present (pink irritated skin).
- The key is to NOT apply cream if feet are wet or dirty, as the cream will only seal the bacteria in. Whereas, when applied to dry and clean skin, the cream forms a barrier to the outside world and will soothe the skin underneath.

This process is never ending in the winter months. I am doing this every day.